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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Bipolar Maximum

So what is this bipolar maximum

There is a time in the bipolar cycle when you can be taking every single med for bipolar on the highest dose and guess it will do nothing.

Some may what to call it a meds relapse but from what I read is that meds relapse can only happen if you stop taking the meds and in my case as well as some other that was not there we was still taking the meds and when the event is over the meds start to work again.

Now this time do only happen as I can recall from memory only 2 to 3 year. For me it line up with the month that summer break start, that when it start to near it end.

It last a few a month. And when it start to get bad as in holding your head in just extreme pain, just trying to hold back the tears, just wanting to scream to get rid of some of the pain it all ready starting to near it end.

I just have my last school year.

All you what to do and can do to rid yourself of the pain is to sleep.

I always end up messing everything up any friend I somehow have I lose, anything I have going good for me I mess up.

With the med I take for bipolar quetiapine (Seroquel) my mood stabilize work well, it keep me on a even keel normally.

Yea okay I have to take med, a pill, my mood stabilize quetiapine (Seroquel) 200mg to keep my mood on a even keel and yea I was on a hold cocktail of different med to keep my mood at a even keel. I happy where I am today with my med thing. I take 1 quetiapine at day time to help my bipolar, my daytrana, for my ADHD, and I take a other quetiapine at night time to help me sleep at night, and yea 200mg at night time too.

It act as a reminder for us bipolar for everything our meds take from us, It take most if not all of the fun stuff about the illness that the hard part of taking the meds

Small Rant
you know what it not only the meds that take away all the fun stuff about the illness it also the mask that we have to put on to fit in anywhere, and we can't ever put down the mask even when I am at home I can't put the mask down, not even a little, if I do I get a did you take your meds today, I go yea I did, and then I get a yea I don't think so, and it go back and forth like that a couple of time, and then I get ask do your dosage need to be increase it just ah no It don't so yea when I try to find out how much I can let go even a little even in my home I get that.

Okay now where was I oh yea, for everything that this disorder take from us that we are happy to take the med to get then back, there are also some of the thing that we hate about our med that our med take from us, and the thing is that the stuff that our meds take from us, are not all bad, in fact some of the stuff we enjoy, as long as it don't because to much, we want that state of minds, that feeling, even if everyone around us feel uncomfortable, we feel good from it.

There are also other thing that our med take from us thing that I talk about in my blog post Top Seven Terrific Things About Bipolar Disorder.

With the multidimensional thing how we can find out anything about any topic we are asking in our head about and I mean any topic, even someone else worse most terrifying time in there life.

Now it not like I ask myself what that person worse most terrifying time in there life is no the questions I ask is what is on that person mind, what that person thinking of, those are the questions I ask also I need to make direct eye content with the person and then well.

Vivid images come rushing to my mind, it like I am seeing the event as it is happening and not only do the memory come to us also the emotion the person was feeling at the time come to us, and the memory can even haunt us week, month, after we first see the memory.

I will not tell a single soul what I have seen. The only person I will tell, is the person who gave me the memory to be give with, and only if that person ask me about it, or if that person tell me about that memory from there own mouth.

Otherwise I don't care who you are, the memory are not my to talk about.

I never truly wanting to see or know about the info I get and I don't even know if the person who gave me the memory know I know about it.

On the bright side of thing this ability only happen three time in my life and only two time I got info from someone else memory one time was in middle school, and the other was in high school.

Also on top of that a other ability I have was to see into the future, by about a week yea that with the other ability I talk about sound like some pseudo science right impossible to do type of thing.

Much be having some hardcore hallucinations happening right, but no I know when I am having a hallucinations well after I had it I do not when I am having it but after I have it I do know.

So okay back to the seeing about a week into the future, just hear me out now okay.

In class I have at the time what I thought was a hallucinations it was not any thing big just a table in the classroom, with book, and other stuff on it.

The book was the book that the class was reading at the time, so I move toward to the new table to get my book and the table vanish into thin air, and went okay that was a hallucinations at the time, but then about a week later I saw that same table in the same classroom everything exactly the same as I saw it in my hallucinations so at the time, I was thinking I was hallucinations again but no the table was real this time.

And the the Empath thing I talk about in my other blog post I am a Empath where and how my empathic ability it kind of like seeing the world, people not as they pretending to be.
During this time when I look at people I not looking at them, but I in a way see through them, I don't see who they pretend to be, I see who they truly are, I see not what they what us to see, but what they are truly feeling about the time, that they are hiding.

These thing I am more then happy to have remove from my life for the most part, uh the best way to explain this the thing I talk about in this blog post is that see we are right brain dominance and the right side of the brain, is use in Recognizing faces, Expressing emotions, Music, Reading emotions, Color, Images, Intuition or also call the Unconscious, and Creativity.

Now the seeing into other memory, and the seeing into the future thing are from the Unconscious minds.

The unconscious minds, or the subconscious is a truly powerful tool, the only problem with this that our education system pound into us from a early age that if the your info did not come from a book, a website, an other person, or any 3rd parties source, then you are wrong on the info.

As in if the info just came you out of nowhere then the info is wrong.

The subconscious mind is a truly powerful thing, and the system today don't allow it to grow.

It like I said a lot of time before if we people who have bipolar, live in a other life time, back in the tribal period, we would not be label bipolar, we would be seen at people who have the gift, of being a Shaman.

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